Plenty of pet parents have been there. They’re walking down the street, having a lovely walk with their pup, enjoying the fresh air, and all of the sudden, their dog sees a kid and… freezes. Maybe the pup tucks their tail and trembles, or maybe they lunge and bark, but their human knows what’s happening: Their dog is afraid.
If this is your dog’s reaction, you’re not alone. Many dogs find kids overwhelming, and it doesn’t mean they’re “bad” or that you’re a bad parent. With patience and expert-backed training strategies, you can help your doggo feel more secure around kids.
Why are some dogs afraid of kids?
First, it’s important to understand why some dogs find kids so scary. One major reason? Dogs have trouble understanding children’s body language.
“Dogs are often hesitant around children because kids move unpredictably and can be hard for dogs to read,” says Shelby Semel, founder and senior trainer at Shelby Semel Dog Training. “Honestly, even adults struggle to anticipate what a child is about to do, so for a dog, the sudden bursts of motion and noise can be overwhelming.”
Especially for dogs afraid of even the kids they live with, the constant change in development can also play a role.
Kids “go through many big milestones in the first two to three years,” says Dominika Knossalla-Pado, dog trainer and founder of Dog Meets Babyopens in new tab. That constant change, which can include behavior that’s “impulsive and grabby,” can be hard on dogs, she adds.
Kids also often struggle to read dogs’ body language, which can contribute to a dog’s fear.
“A dog can be giving every polite ‘I need space’ signal in the book, and the child just sees it as an invitation to lean in closer,” Semel says. What’s more, many parents “unintentionally allow [their kids to have] overly enthusiastic interactions — hugging, grabbing, tail pulling, or rough petting,” Semel adds. “What starts as affection can feel like pressure for a dog.”
What are the signs that your dog is afraid of kids?
According to Semel, there are a number of signals dogs display to indicate their fear of children, including:
Learning these signals can go a long way in helping pet parents manage their dog’s fear.
However, it’s also important to remember that not every dog will display obvious fear signals, per Knossalla-Pado. “Some dogs have very expressive body language and are easier to read, while some are more subtle,” she says. If those subtle signs are ignored, she adds, “dogs will likely escalate to more obvious signals like showing teeth, growling, snapping, or biting.”
So, what should you do?
First, pet parents should manage their expectations. “The first goal is simple and realistic: Make the dog comfortable and confident when kids are nearby,” Semel says. “Comfort first, friendship later (if it ever comes).”
Second, pet parents should expect to be actively involved in the training process. Semel works with both dogs and their humans, because “teaching parents (and caregivers) when to remove the dog or, sometimes, redirect the kid, is as much a part of the plan as any sit-stay,” she says.
However, there is no single training trick that helps every dog become more comfortable with kids. Each approach should be tailored to each dog based on a number of factors, including whether the dog shares a home with children or only sees them occasionally, the child’s age, and how fearful the dog is of that child or children generally. (Are they politely avoiding the kid(s) or lunging and growling?).
There is one simple step pet parents can take to start managing their pet’s fear around children, however, per Knossalla-Pado. “If a dog is afraid of a child, what they are asking for by communicating subtle signs of stress or louder signs is [a desire to not be] touched,” she says. So, the solution is simple: Don’t let children approach your dog or pet them.
“If a dog is not approaching a child happily with relaxed dog body language, it’s best to stop or reduce petting to very structured supervised interactions,” Knossalla-Pado says. “By forcing physical interactions, the dog will continue being afraid. Switch to waving, blowing kisses, or air hugs.”
What should you not do?
Pet parents “definitely shouldn’t follow the classic Google advice of ‘have the kid feed the dog,’” Semel says. “That usually creates pressure, not trust, and can cause conflict when the dog wants the food but not the small human attached to it.”
Another popular approach that Semel says doesn’t work: “Teaching a toddler ‘gentle’ by guiding their hand to pet the dog. “Toddlers don’t understand ‘gentle’ versus ‘harder’ yet, and your dog should not be the test subject in that experiment,” Semel adds. “Plus, all it usually does is encourage the toddler to touch even more, which is the opposite of what a fearful dog needs.”
Exposure therapy also doesn’t work; forcing scared dog to spend more time around a child isn’t training, “it’s marinating the dog in stress,” Semel says.
Ultimately, Semel says, “If in doubt, do less, go slower, and give the dog more agency and control, not more kid. And when things feel unclear, that’s your cue to pick up the phone and call a certified trainer or behaviorist who works regularly with both dogs and kids.”